Stepson Liked With All Of Man’s Heart
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The Onion’s Exclusive Interview With Lady Gaga
This month Lady Gaga released Mayhem, her seventh studio album. The Onion sat down with the artist and actor to discuss songwriting, self-care, and what’s next. The Onion: What was the creative impetus for this record? Gaga: I have always been fascinated by the concept of dancing around on stage in an insane hat. The […]
Oversized Leprechaun Hat Left At Home On St. Patrick’s Day To Avoid Damaging It
CLEVELAND—Concluding that the rewards simply weren’t worth the risks, local man Tim Fitzpatrick told reporters Monday that he would leave his oversized leprechaun hat at home on St. Patrick’s Day to avoid damaging it. “Obviously, it’d be a dream to live it up at McKiernan’s with this thing on my head, but I’d just hate […]
128 New Moons Found Orbiting Saturn
Astronomers have discovered over 100 additional moons orbiting Saturn, bringing the gas giant’s total to 274. What do you think? “At a certain point, you have to stop and ask yourself why you’re not happy with the 200 moons you’ve got.” Jack Saylor, Unemployed “Yet again, the moon-rich get moon-richer.” Guy Gallegos, Response Strategist “There’s […]
JD Vance’s French Horn Solo Booed At Kennedy Center
WASHINGTON—Failing to receive the reaction he anticipated from audience members, JD Vance was booed at the John F. Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts while playing a French horn solo, sources confirmed Friday. The stage curtains reportedly rose to reveal the vice president, an amateur horn player, standing by himself behind a music stand, a […]