JuJu Watkins Sprains Bun

LOS ANGELES—In what could prove a devastating loss for the top-seeded Big Ten team, University of Southern California star JuJu Watkins reportedly strained her bun Monday during the opening game of the NCAA Women’s March Madness tournament. “While we don’t yet know the extent of the damage, JuJu is scheduled to receive an extensive MRI […]
Pope Francis Flips Off Crowd From Balcony

The post Pope Francis Flips Off Crowd From Balcony appeared first on The Onion. source
Jury Convicts Thief Who Stole Golden Toilet

A thief who swiped a golden toilet from an English palace was convicted along with an accomplice who helped cash in on the 18-carat work of art insured for more than $6 million. What do you think? “Thank God, I can’t hold it in any longer.” Stephen Hegg, Freelance Hacker “Yet poor toilets go missing […]
Well Shit, Man Thought He Secured Infant Car Seat

The post Well Shit, Man Thought He Secured Infant Car Seat appeared first on The Onion. source
History Of Spring Break In The U.S.
In the coming weeks, nearly 60% of Americans are expected to travel over the academic vacation period known as spring break. The Onion presents a historical timeline of the wild cultural phenomenon now considered a rite of passage for many college students. 10,000 BCE: First cave art depicting a young woman throwing a punch at […]
Spray-Painted Penis Only Thing Holding Cybertruck Together

The post Spray-Painted Penis Only Thing Holding Cybertruck Together appeared first on The Onion. source