Pebble Rattling Around In Shoe Turns Out To Be Loose Toe
The post Pebble Rattling Around In Shoe Turns Out To Be Loose Toe appeared first on The Onion. source
Dainty Little Man Orders Single Cheeseburger
EL RENO, OK—Explaining to the server at local restaurant Sid’s Diner that he only wanted one patty—not two—dainty little man Carlos Villarreal reportedly ordered a single cheeseburger Thursday. “Oh dear, is this delicate fellow worried a burger with double meat would upset his tender tummy?” said onlooker Miles Friedmont, wondering aloud whether Villarreal was purchasing the […]
Mother Extremists Hijack Airwaves To Broadcast Photos Of Their Children
WASHINGTON—Demanding viewers look upon their precious offspring or suffer dire consequences, extremist parenting organization Mamas United reportedly hijacked the airwaves Monday to broadcast photos of their children. “People of the world, we call upon you to gaze on our sweet little ones immediately—especially Brandon, who is really cute as a button in his OshKosh B’Gosh,” said […]
Photographic Evidence
A customer walked up to my bank window and asked me to cash a check.“Of course,” I said. “But I’ll need to see ID.”She dug though her purse and handed me a snapshot.“That’s me in the middle,” she said. Joke of the day – Photographic Evidence is the best Joke for Thursday, 10 April 2025 […]
Galapagos Tortoises Become First-Time Parents At 100
A pair of critically endangered, nearly 100-year-old Galapagos tortoises at the Philadelphia Zoo have become first-time parents, with the arrival of the four hatchlings being a first in the zoo’s more than 150-year history. What do you think? “Should I send some leaves or something?” Noel Zarowitz, Chief Regulator “Great, I had just managed to […]
Mark Rodney
Mark Rodney, 52, passed away suddenly last Saturday. His family has announced that the first person to correctly guess his cause of death will win a $25 Visa gift card. The post Mark Rodney appeared first on The Onion. source
Jade Easton and Jeremy Sykes
The pair were wed by the captain of their cruise ship while under the mistaken impression that it would get them a free pass to the lobster buffet. The post Jade Easton and Jeremy Sykes appeared first on The Onion. source
Mall Escalator Spits Out Another Pile Of Bones
The post Mall Escalator Spits Out Another Pile Of Bones appeared first on The Onion. source