Israel Claims Slain Palestinian Rescue Workers Didn’t Properly Identify Selves As Human Beings

RAFAH, GAZA—Responding to reports that 15 rescue workers in Gaza were killed execution style and buried in a mass grave, Israel claimed this week that the slain Palestinians did not properly identify themselves as human. “Unfortunately, upon their encounter with IDF soldiers, these Palestinians provided no documentation indicating they were sentient beings entitled to basic rights,” said Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, who stated that even after reviewing the situation, his government couldn’t find any credentials to support assertions that the team of Palestinian paramedics and emergency responders possessed a shared humanity. “This group was given ample opportunity to communicate to our forces that they were people endowed with inherent dignity who should not be gunned down on sight, but they failed to do so. How else were we to know they weren’t subhuman scum that needed to be wiped off the face of the earth?” Israeli officials went on to clarify that when it came to Palestinians identifying themselves as conscious beings deserving of respect, crying and begging for one’s life did not count as sufficient verification.