Only Good-Looking Person In Office Mingles With Hideous Coworkers Like Missionary Among Lepers

CHICAGO—Showing a graciousness and magnanimity that the rest of the world has denied these pariahs and rejects, Jordan Hall, the only good-looking person in the office, was reportedly mingling Wednesday with his hideous coworkers like a missionary among lepers. Several reports indicated that the handsome and fit Hall was drinking and eating alongside the outcasts without a care for the skin rashes that might pass to him, and he even mercifully accepted a pen from one of them as a humble gift. As he walked amongst the unwashed masses in his office like a Jesuit missionary engaging with pustule-covered natives, Hall is also said to have helped fostered a sense of community by leading the pale and sickly employees to a local bar and regaling them with stories of a better world, all the while knowing just how doomed they really were. At press time, sources confirmed Hall had left for a better offer at a larger company, leaving behind a cable-knit cardigan that the unsightly workers embraced as a style icon.