Texas Implements Mandatory 6-Month Quarantine For Anyone Who Has Watched ‘Will And Grace’

AUSTIN, TX—In a drastic new order purportedly aimed at protecting its citizens, Texas state government officials reportedly put into effect a new mandatory six-month quarantine that would apply to anyone who has ever watched Will And Grace. “Anyone who watched Will And Grace, the sitcom that revolutionized the popular depiction of homosexuality in the United States in the mid-to-late 1990’s must undergo a mandatory quarantine period of 183 days,” said Texas Gov. Greg Abbott in an official statement announcing the controversial measure aimed at preventing the statewide spread of dangerous references to refreshingly realistic depictions of gay life and sardonic quips from Karen Walker. “We must all take serious precautions to keep ourselves safe from Will And Grace—even a rerun is capable of doing serious damage. Watching merely 10 seconds of an episode of Will And Grace is enough to be irreversibly charmed by Jack McFarland’s free-spirited confidence.” Abbott added that those who have already been placed in quarantine may qualify for early release by finishing at least two seasons of Yellowstone or Blue Bloods.