Trump Announces New Visa Tier For Immigrants Who Will Be Friends With Barron

WASHINGTON—Extending an offer to immigrants hoping to relocate to the United States, President Donald Trump unveiled a new type of visa Thursday for any foreign citizen willing to move to America to be friends with his son Barron. “Any immigrant roughly Barron’s age with similar interests may apply, with very little waiting time to get them over here to start having fun,” a statement from the White House read in part, noting that there would be no restrictions on countries of origin so long as the applicant could name three ideas for hangout activities that the youngest Trump child might find appealing. “They’ll need to provide evidence that they have good social skills and strong, healthy hobbies in their home countries that they can bring to America to help Barron grow. The Barron Buddy visa will also offer a path to permanent residency for any cardholder who remains an active member of Barron’s social circle. Buddies here on visa should not expect a free ride, however—they will need to demonstrate that they can carry their own weight in Fortnite to stay in good standing with the U.S. government.” At press time, Immigration and Customs Enforcement announced raids on tens of thousands of illegal immigrants who were casual acquaintances of Barron at best.